I was at home, packing my stuff to leave. My family disgusted at who I am. Where could I go?
Each of the people I called, whom I thought were friends, did not answer my plea. They simply hung up; severing all ties with me. All I had left to my soul, my heart was the man that I love.
I pulled the duffel over my head and onto my shoulders and than left, rolling the suitcase with me.
I had some money saved up from my part-time jobs. Will they rent to a kid who is still in high-school? I sighed.
I want to see him and hold him close. I want to feel his skin against mine. I miss him. I need him. I am sure he will listen to me and know what to do.
My cellphone rings and causes me to pause. I let go of the suitcase and take the phone from my pocket. I felt a big smile spread over my face. It’s him. I answer, “hello?”
‘Let’s meet up. I need to see you.’ He said in his smooth quiet voice that always causes my face to heat up.
“Okay,” I pause. “At the usual spot?”
‘Yeah, see you in twenty minutes.’ He hangs up.
I frown to myself. Is he okay? Normally we would end in I love you’s. I pocket my phone and grab the handle and walk towards the destination.
Twenty minutes was time to get there and catch my breath. But he was already there sitting down with his head in his hands. Something was off. I set my things down and crouch in front of him, “Hey. Is everything okay?”
He snaps his head up and a look of shock overcomes him. Quickly standing and moving away in gentle strides, he smiles. It was strange. “Yeah,” he looks away.
I stand and approach him, with his back turned to me. I have never seen him this way.
As I am about to reach out, he quickly turns around, dropping his head as if he didn’t want to see me. He places his hands on my shoulders, his grip was firm. “Our love isn’t right,” his voice cracked with emotion. “We need to stop this.”
What did he just say to me? I thought he would listen to me and help think of a way we could be together…. he is leaving me? Stop this?
I muster all the strength I can, shoving all the emotions that are trying to force through down. Nothing is going how I thought. Maybe I am too naive.
“I see,” I gave him a bitter smile, “if this is what you want.” As I tightly grasp his arm, tilting his head to expose his tear streaked face, I force a kiss on him. This would be the last one we will ever have. I put forth all my emotions I bottled up through my lips to his. His body slowly eased against mine as his arms dropped to his side, melting against me. He allows my tongue to enter with an eager mouth. As soon as we taste each other with our exploring tongues, he realizes what he was doing. He turns his head away and escapes my hand. Pushing off, he runs away with all his might.
Not once did he turn back to look at me. This was all there was. I am now completely alone. Having the awareness of my empty heart and soul, I could sense and taste the salty tears escape, trailing down my face.
Our love isn’t right? Why did he have to say such a thing?
I slowly trudge back to where my things lay and pick them up. I never felt so broken. Everything is gone. Nothing matters anymore.