Everyone has been asking me how we met and when did I realize I was in love with him? I guess you could say I fell in love without realizing it, he was everything I could think of. Whenever I heard his name my heart would beat faster. Whenever I saw his pictures, a smile would come to my face. Just the mere thought of being able to talk to him brought joy to my heart. But all this happened a long time ago…
I will tell you a story about a young man who had many dreams he wished to see a reality. His name was Ian Mathews and he was a beautiful man with a charming smile. He did everything in his power to help those in need from all walks of life.
When Ian was born, his mother didn’t want him because she blamed him for his father leaving. Ian was bounced around in the foster system until he was about 12, when he was adopted by a couple who couldn’t have children. They treated him as if he was their biological kid and showered him with love and gifts. He made sure to be exceptionally well behaved for fear if he wasn’t he would be left behind. As he grew older he began to wonder if his way of thinking was twisted and if he needed to change. When he turned 16, he left home without telling his adoptive parents a thing. They freaked out and went searching for him only to find him drunk and on the streets. They got really angry and grounded him. His little experiment produced the results he wanted. From that point forward he called them mom and dad.
Ian went to study at a very prestigious high-school and worked hard in his studies daily. He worked hard in treating everyone fairly and showed them a kindness most kids his age were not used to. This was around the time I had met him when I transferred to his high school. We had a few classes together and he seemed to be of a different species, something other than human. He caught my interest and I began asking people about him. It shocked me how many people knew him and knew of him. They told me he was always smiling and always helping others but no one walked over him. He was someone everyone respected and wanted as a friend. The next few days I watched him and just like those people said, he was always smiling and always helping others. But from what I had witnessed myself, something felt off. I wanted to talk to him and find out what it was that seemed to make his smile fake.
A month had went by since I began to inquire about Ian. I realized he had noticed me watching him and was waiting for me to talk to him. I had wondered then, if he also knew I was asking around about him. I approached him after class and asked if we could talk in private. My classmates whispered among themselves that I was going to confess my feelings, Ian’s smile was gone in an instant. We left the classroom and went up the stairs to the roof.
“What is it that you wanted to tell me?” Ian asked. His smile still not on his lips. And than it struck me. His unsmiling eyes were exactly the same now as they were when he was smiling. He never truly smiled. I smiled at him and moved closer. He stepped back trying to give himself space.
“Ian, why do you force yourself to do all those things when you really don’t want to?” I looked him squarely in the eyes. And out of nowhere he broke out in beautiful, genuine laughter. I was shocked and amazed. He was breathtaking.
“Only you noticed my mask? Why is that? Is it because you have been watching me for the past month?” He chuckled and moved in closer to me but I held my ground. “Do you like me?”
I hesitated. Like him? as a person? or does he mean…? “N- no. I like you as a person. You seem very interesting and have sparked my curiosity.” I tried to hide my embarrassment.
He frowned unconvinced, “I see.” He reached out to touch me and I stepped back. “If you are so interested, why not watch me closer?”
I stared at him and tilted my head in confusion. Watch him closer?
“I will let you meet my friends and family. You will become a part of my world,” he grinned.
For some reason my heart skipped a beat and I felt heat creep up my neck. He was going to show me sides of him no one else knew.
We went downstairs and back to class just as it was about to start-up again. Every student had their eyes locked on us.
After class was over, many people swarmed him and assaulted him with questions.
“Did he confess to you?” “Did you say yes or no?” “Are you guys going to start dating?” “Are you gay?”
He chuckled softly and showed a softness on his face as he looked at everyone. “I took notice of his interest in me and invited him to meet my family.” He looked at me and saw how flabbergasted I was as he was grinning.
“Congratulations Matthew! Now you don’t have to sneak around to find out about him!” Some random classmate of mine shouted to me.
“Oh? Did he now?” Ian looked at me feigning surprise.
Everyone left and only the two of us were left. With my back to him, I heard Ian’s footsteps coming closer and suddenly his hand was on my shoulder. His lips near my ear and I could feel his warm breath on my neck, “Are you sure you don’t like me, Matt?”
I shuddered and blushed profusely. “I don’t know anymore.”
Ian stood up and walked away, ” Are you coming?”
I shot up from my desk and followed him. A peek into his life. My brain was buzzing with curiosity.
“Lets go to your place first, Matt.” He turned and looked at me with a knowing smile. I simply nodded.
We didn’t have to walk far, as I lived relatively close by the school. Ian and I entered my home. My mother greeted us and smiled warmly, “Matt, who is this?”
“Ian, my classmate and friend,” I responded, nervously.
“It is so nice to meet you, Mrs. Grayson,” Ian smiled politely.
“Ian and I am going to study in my room.” I had led him to my room and shut the door behind us. He stared intensely as he sauntered over to me. That time I was dying for him to touch me. He gently caressed my face and lips with his fingertips. I felt wrack my body. I didn’t want him to stop. But he did.
“Tonight I will introduce you to my friends,” he said as he walked away from me.
Why did I need him to continue touching me? Was it because I actually liked him? Was I in love with him?
“If that’s alright with you” Ian turned to face me and smirked upon seeing my face. my flushed face deeper red. He came back to me as I hadn’t moved from against my bedroom door. He pulled me into his arms and I looked up at him. He smiled and it reached his eyes causing them to sparkle in ways I had never seen. I was in love with him; my heart quickened. He brushed his lips against mine gently. A sensation of hopefulness filled my chest as his tongue touched my lips and I opened my mouth a little bit more. Our tongues caressed gently and he pulled away from our slight kiss again. The heat of his kiss burned my lips sending trails of pleasure to my hips. I felt a sensation below, a gentle throbbing. I looked at him flushed and quickly looked away.
He grabbed my face and grinned, “I’m the same way.” He gently took my hand and placed it against his groin, ” see?” I felt the throbbing and heat against my hand. He let go of my hand and kissed me again as I left my hand in place.He pushed me impossibly further against the door and put his cool hands beneath my shirt, caressing my heated skin. I trailed my hands up his lean body and entangled my fingers within his dark and wavy hair, pulling tightly. He moaned and kissed me deeper than before.
There was a knock on my door and we quickly parted I opened the door slightly. It was my mom.
“Do you guys want any snacks or something?” She smiled.
“No thanks, Mom.” I closed the door not waiting for her to walk away. I slid down and sat still for a few moments. What the hell was I doing? I felt his eyes on me and my skin began to ache for his touch.
“We need to go now,” he said as he stood up and walked towards the door. I quickly got to my feet and fixed my disheveled clothing. We left the room and said bye to my mother as we left the house.
“Where are we going, Ian?” I asked as we walked in the silent night. I could hear the crickets chirping. The moon and stars shone brightly that night, I met his friends.
Ian turned to an abandoned building and I followed. I stopped and stared at it. It looked like it was going to collapse at any moment.
“What is it?” He turned to look at me.
“Is this where we are going? Is it safe?” I questioned.
“Yes and it’s okay.” He reached out to me and grabbed my hand, wrapping his fingers warmly over mine. “Lets go.”
We slowly walked in, holding hands. I saw small groups were formed within a much larger group; they consisted of preppy students, wanna be thugs, laid back young adults and a mixture of people of no younger than 17. They looked as if they shouldn’t be friends.
When Ian entered they stopped talking and instantly greeted him. They truly respected him and he was the reason all these different kinds of people could be get together.
A tall pale skinned man with light-colored eyes approached him, “Hey Ian, is this the guy you wanted us to meet?”
“Yes. His name is Matthew Grayson; he goes to the same school as me and has similar grades.” He turned and looked at me, “I treasure him a lot.”
I blushed and smiled, “It is nice to meet you.”
Ian showed me around and introduced me to a few people before someone came busting in and yelling for him. Ian quickly turned and ran towards the yelling and I followed. Two people stood there; one was supporting the other who was bleeding rather profusely.
“Put him down and bring me the first aid kit.” Ian’s voice was both authoritative and soothing. A few seconds later the guy returned with the kit. Ian cut the leg of the jeans; he set up a splint to hold the leg in place.
He poured rubbing alcohol onto the wound. It showed the white meat in the leg. Ian threaded a needle that looked slightly like a hook and began to stitch the guy’s leg closed. I watched in awe. After he finished, he cleaned the area again and wrapped it with gauze and stuck it together with some cloth tape. He removed the splint and after cleaning the tools, he put them away.
“Ian, how often have you done these types of things?” I asked.
“Often.” He smiled, “It is perfect practice for me.”
“Yeah, I want to be a surgeon.” Ian smiled.
“Oh.” That was the only thing I could think of saying at the time.
“It’s late,” Ian said “I should take you home now.” Ian stood up and pulled me to my feet. After saying goodbye to everyone, we left and headed back to my house.
“Isn’t what you are doing kind of dangerous?” I stopped walking and turned to face him, concerned.
Ian looked at me and smiled,” Probably, but they have no one looking out for them. I was like that a long time ago.”
That night Ian told me of his childhood as he took me home.
In bed, I lied awake staring at the ceiling, thinking about what Ian had told me.
At school he acted one way towards people but completely different with the friends in that abandoned house. It was like those people were his family along with the two that adopted him. I rolled over onto my side; the next day I would get to meet his parents. I smiled to myself and drifted off into sweet dreams.